Fathimath Aneega, Maldives

Witching hour, sleeping peacefully
Telephone ringing, picked up cautiously
Unnecessary intrusion disturbing me surely
Ominous and frightening, not answered happily
"Cancer" I heard, the word, and jumped up shakily
Looking in from out, involved in strangers journeys vicariously
Of despair, grief and loss, pain and helplessness with hope, though agonizingly
A part of but not a part of, I first heard "cancer" definitely
Of strangers, relatives and friends who became family ultimately
Placed slap bang in the middle of other people's lives situationally
Until the monster wrapped its fangs around my family personally

Twice did cancer lead my life out of kilter
Thought was immune from cancer as an "experienced" caretaker
Strong and brave, for many patients and families I was a helper,
Along the way by my side constantly was my husband, my mentor
The first strike on my husband, I was running helter-skelter
Fear, helplessness, grief and loss and me right at the centre
Loneliness engulfed me, and my life filled with terror
When my husband was diagnosed twice with the ever-feared cancer

The healthcare system, at a glance, looked good
Specialists and after care by nurses among the best stood
Here in too I guess one could obviously find driftwood
For at times, I felt shortchanged with falsehood
Human error caused absolute grief and despair and changes to mood
Many near misses: thought the system was like expressionless wood
The consequences of which will forever with me be glued
However, from the depths of my heart, I forgive and only wish them good

Though a caregiver to many from far and near
Loved one's diagnosis filled our lives with many a tear
With my husband and son's support and understanding as ever
Through surgery and chemo and thought the path was smooth and clear
Second diagnosis in global covid pandemic lockdown
Cancer Society of Maldives' help sans a frown
Their patience support and multifaceted assistance prevented a meltdown
Many times, brought me up from depths of despair and breakdown
Surviving through many near misses away from my hometown

In the midst of perceived and real despair, helped me the most
Never asking the question of why me, acceptance utmost
In loneliness and helplessness, you need to seek support
Not only of professionals but of those struggling to survive in the same boat
Comments and queries may be well meant but so so intrusive
Truth be told I find them so offensive
Hits hard on target, and for mental health not conducive
For many a time I feel in the dark and seclusive
Trauma, despair, grief and loss which for us is not strange
Seek help from CM/CSG in the safe space for our thoughts to arrange.