Francesca, United States

December 10, 2022, Cancer turned my world upside down. 

Prior to cancer, I was a solo traveler.  In September 2008, I finally got the courage to travel to Spain by myself and join a Contiki tour group.  I met my roommate Deana on the trip who is still one of my dear friends.  I went to the happiest place in the world, Ibiza for closing parties, stepping foot on the island September 15, 2008. 

Once you realize you can travel solo, you want to do more.  So in January 2009, I went on the Miami Groove Cruise and met some amazing people.  That was a domino effect to go back and experience the Winter Music Conference properly.  I went by myself and met up with my fellow Groove Cruisers.  And while going, I met 2 of my dearest friends Jacob and Tara and I also met Jesse who is a badass entrepreneur that I admire so much.  In 2010, Jesse, Tara and my other dear friend Jen went back and we met another dear friend, Mr. David!  These friends are my life long friends and I'm so honored that a few of them had the honor to meet my dad.  

After losing my mom suddenly October 22, 2012, my life already turned upside down.  The free spirit gal who loved to travel couldn't anymore but that didn't mean I still couldn't travel with my dad.  We went to San Francisco, Maui and Alaska.  Those trips weren't easy, they were actually very stressful.  Being a solo caregiver is a full time job and you don't get paid to do it.  At least I did it and I have no regrets!

Did my cancer start due to stress?  I believe so.  I believe it all began in 2018 when I had an enlarged uterus.  It is very common for leiomyosarcoma to start in the uterus, otherwise known as ULMS.  The pathology report came back negative but I KNOW my doctor told me I had pre-cancer cells and she removed my left ovary.  My left ovary was never removed.  I can't sue because the medical report never stated my left ovary was removed, it stated it was discharged.  I tried to lawyer up but I did not have a case.  I know what I heard, but it's all hearsay. I never looked at the medical records in 2018.  I was too busy trying to heal because there is no rest for a caregiver. 

After my 2018 partial hysterectomy, I was never the same.  

December 29, 2018, my dad passed.  From 2019 to 2020, I was a mess.  Did the cancer start then?  I don't know.  In 2020, I met my mentor Chris and was reintroduced to meditation.  I got stronger mentally and lost weight.  In 2021, I fell into comfort instead of pushing myself to get out of my comfort zone.  Choose your hard, right?  Well, my hard was being sad and miserable because I knew I could better my life but I was stuck.  The cancer is in my liver and in Chinese medicine, anger is linked to the liver.  I had so much anger within myself.  I really hated myself for not pushing myself to get out of my comfort zone.  Do I believe my cancer started in 2021?  Absolutely!  

I blame myself every day for my cancer.  In 2022, I had 2 new mentors who helped me focus on building a business.  By then, in February, I already felt sharp pains in my lower, left pelvic abdomen area but I ignored it.  The pain would go away.  Who has time to be sick when you have a sick dog and are working to build a business???

My dream of working for myself came true in May 2022.  I went from employee to business owner.  It was stressful.  The first 2 months were hard.  I was always tired.  I never knew why.  But I hustled.  By July, I finally had it figured out and for once in my life, at 45 years old, I finally had my shit together!  It was amazing and I was so proud of myself!  But I was still always tired.  

July 22, 2022, I ended up in the ER in excruciating pelvic pain.  The week leading up, the pain was getting worse and worse.  That Friday, my back hurt so much, I decided to go for a walk with my beloved Lola and the pain was so bad, I almost thought I'd have to take an Uber back to my house.  It was bad!

My gynecologist suspected cancer and told me she wanted me to take a blood test to rule out cancer.  I called one of my dear friends crying.  Within a week, the results were back and they were negative for cancer.  Hooray, so what is wrong with me?  I was told it was just a fibroid on my right ovary even though the pain was constantly in my left lower pelvic side.  

I changed my diet in August 2022 because I was always in pain.  I gave up alcohol ,sugar, red meats, chicken, pasta, bread and 2 months later I felt better! Went to see Above and Beyond's Group Therapy 500 in October and celebrated life! I didn't have cancer!  Let me be clear, changing my diet had no impact on my tumor.  It actually grew!  Leiomyosarcoma does not care about diet! 

I got second opinions, every doctor told me I didn't have cancer.  None of that was ever documented though, just verbally said.  Which is why I can't sue. They all went by those negative blood tests. 

Lola went to Heaven November 22, 2022 and it was finally time to put the beast to sleep.  December 9 was surgery and December 10, 2022, the 3 words no one ever wants to hear, "you have cancer" were said to me.  

Cancer turned my world upside down.

I am now on year 3 of treatment.  I fired my first sarcoma specialist.  I was used like a guinea pig and if I would have stayed, my days would have been numbered.  I now have an amazing sarcoma specialist in Beverly Hills and have a team of doctors on my side, giving me so much hope!  I'm on an aggressive treatment of gemzar/docetaxel.  I am learning to embrace chemo now.  And for once, I believe that I will become stable.  I am stage 4 as the cancer has metastasized to my liver and lungs.  Scans in December 2024 showed lung stability but more activity in my liver.  I have to stay consistent with chemo now, no more chemo breaks.  I am hoping to have treatment on my liver mid year, but we need the tumors to shrink first.  

I believe in chemo, it's keeping me alive. 

Chemo has allowed me to travel.  In April 2024 I went to Texas to experience the Texas Eclipse which was life changing.  May 2024 I experienced my first EDC Las Vegas.  It was very challenging as I'm weak from chemo and didn't rent a motorized scooter.  I still closed out Friday and Sunday/Monday morning like a champ!  I also experienced the Sphere 2x for Anyma December 29 & 30th.  That trip was hard and a reminder that traveling is on hold....for now.  My body is very weak and I need to really focus on chemo now. 

I hope to make Tulum for NYE as I had to cancel my Tulum trip in 2013 when my mom passed.  I know I can make this trip, somehow, someway.  So for 2025, there will be no traveling and I'm focusing on treatments covered by my insurance.  

I really need to get back to a stricter meditation practice again and also get back to my 15 minute light yoga and 13 minutes of tai chi but I have been so tired and unmotivated.  I am alone but have amazing friends and the best neighbors who have turned into best friends.  I miss my parents so much and pray to them every day.  And Lola is always with me, I know she is.  But doing this alone has been hard.  I am grateful for the help I receive by the people who love me. 

Cancer may have turned my world upside down, but I've done a lot more while having cancer and I will continue to do as much as I can while I still have time on this earth.

I share my story to show what it's like to still be an older raver, I'm 48 and live with cancer.  

And I will do everything to bring as much awareness of leiomyosarcoma, a very rare cancer.