Marlene, South Africa

Cancer stole my breasts, my dignity, my womanhood, my joy at times, my life at times, stole time away from my family.....but as a Survivor, I chose to THRIVE and share my journey with the world.....THIS IS ME.....I AM ENOUGH AND I WILL THRIVE!!!

By helping others, I believe you heal”

I was diagnosed in November 2018, underwent a double mastectomy in December 2018, and have had six operations since. It’s been a very long road, as I considered chemotherapy, but thought that a bilateral mastectomy will do the trick. I had an aesthetic flat closure in October 2021 because I developed cysts and painful scar tissue that is not going away.

After the first two surgeries my skin did not want to heal, and then my body rejected the implants and they had to be removed. This was followed by the removal of my ovaries as we have such a high-risk family, and further reconstructive surgery. 

The last surgery that October was when I went with a flat aesthetic closure. My chest wall is very tender, and I decided to have the flat closure without reconstruction, so no room or ever changing my mind about having implants again. I have had multiple cysts/nodules appear on my ribs and sternum, and of late on my left collarbone. I have had multiple aspirations (needle procedure to drain fluid from a breast cyst), which are very painful, and the left pectoral muscle pulled up, which is painful as well. You learn to live with the pain and discomfort, and as soon as you feel something new, you just contact oncology and have it checked out. This is my life now, and will be for the next few years, as I am on another five years of Stradexa treatment from November – switching over from Tamoxifen.

I wish I took a little more time to accept the fact that I was diagnosed. My OCD personality does not allow change … Funny, and here I am, totally changed over a period of five years. How life can just show you! I heard the words ‘you have cancer’ and I immediately knew what I was going to do. After having a mum who had a single mastectomy, and her cancer recurred four times afterwards, I always knew I would do a double mastectomy as soon as I ever got diagnosed. A week after my diagnosis, I had my first surgery – a double mastectomy and direct reconstructive surgery (that failed). From that point on … everything just ran into each other. Check-ups, surgery after surgery. I never took the time to sit and think of my situation and what other options there might be out there. I believe I did the right thing, considering our high family risk, but only now am I working through emotional baggage from the last almost five years. I sometimes just cry, alone, just cry and cry; because I am human, and there are times when I still cannot believe I am on this side of the fence.

I never thought I would be brave enough to share my journey. I am a very private person, and always have been. But since my diagnosis, I have started blogs and videos, and just speaking up. I have the option to wear prosthesis and a wig, but I chose not to … this is me. There are so many women going through this dreaded disease, and they are alone, and they need help. I believe that this is God’s testimony. I have to share it. From a girl who never wanted to swim in her costume at school, to a woman who lost hair and breasts and feels confident to share her images and story. If you had to tell me 10 years ago that this was my future, I would have laughed.

My advice to anyone diagnosed: Breathe … Surround yourself with loving family and friends and support. Take it one step at a time. Communicate with your loved ones. Know you are brave, strong and  amazing, and that you will never get dealt a card you cannot handle. Stay positive, and on the bad days, just slip into your PJs, lie on the couch and binge-watch Friends. Tomorrow is a new day … But remember, you only have today to veg – tomorrow, you get up and go again! There is always someone looking at you, at any given time, and being inspired …  without you even realizing it! Listen to your body, and don’t be scared to verbalize your concerns to your oncologist or specialist.

I have a story to share that I hope will help others, as I did not find my cancer the conventional way, on mammograms or ultrasounds, I did not feel a lump, it was only picked up on a breast MRI. There might be many women out there, that have cancer and have no idea.

My daughter Nakita Pretorius became my caregiver, although she was only in primary school when my journey started – I allowed her to be there with me every step of the way. I believe we must teach our kids from young to look after their health and to be there for others – and my journey taught her that. Today as a teenager she speaks out as a caregiver and her story inspires others.

My journey with CANSA Relay For Life started when I worked for CANSA about 5 years ago – since then I have moved to Mpumalanga. As a CANSA employee I was involved in events like CUPPA For CANSA, Shavathon, Amashova and Relay For Life – and as volunteer it is my pleasure to support the CANSA team to market their events and find sponsors and partners. CANSA staff and volunteers helped me to stay brave – they were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on and provided me the with the opportunity to become the shoulder for other brave survivors and caregivers to lean on. By helping others, I believe you heal, as we need to be reminded of people that we can relate to.

Relay For Life is a symbol of HOPE for so many people – we live in the most negative, destructive times, and why not honour those that survived, those who are still fighting, and those who unfortunately lost their battle to cancer. It brings unity, as well as make people aware of how many cancer patients there are out there, and that we need to rethink our way of living, we must help those in need.

I choose to THRIVE .....God gave me yet another chance to help others...