Tamara, United Kingdom

I went to my GP for a routine appointment; when you don’t go for a year you’re removed from their database for standard medical reviews. I’d had a hysterectomy at 32 with conservation of my ovaries, which meant I had no cervix so didn’t need any smears. (I had fibroids which showed up on my scan when I was pregnant with my 2nd child in 2011.  

The GP checked me over and noticed that my right arm was more swollen than the left. She asked if I’d recently been unwell, which I hadn’t, so she said she was going to refer me to a breast clinic. She said I might as well get used to having mammograms – I was only 38 at the time. There is a small minority of women who have things done – like hysterectomies – when they’re younger but then aren’t screened until they reach mammogram age. I think that needs to change. The mammogram saved my life and that shows the power of early screening.

I ended up having an ultrasound. The stenographer found a 2cm lump which presented like a cyst as it was smooth and round and wasn’t causing me any pain. I was as shocked to see it as they were. But they didn’t suspect anything and did a biopsy and said they’d keep it on file in case I had problems in the future. They thought it was probably a cyst or a blocked milk duct. But they did a biopsy and on 9th August 2023 I was diagnosed with stage 1 triple negative breast cancer – not necessarily rare but a good thing to find it early as its the worst type of breast cancer for black women as so many women end up being diagnosed at later stages.

Chemo started within six weeks – on 9 October. I had a picc line in my arm. The chemotherapy was carboplatin and then paclitaxel, followed by four rounds of the ‘Red Devil’ . I also had immunotherapy – Pembrolizumab. I finished this treatment in December 2024. I had a double mastectomy and bilateral surgery to have implants im April 2024.

When I was told I had triple negative breast cancer my reaction was to ask what it was. No-one tells you that ‘breast cancer’ is an umbrella term and that there are several types of breast cancer. So I did my research and was dumbfounded to find out that out of all of the ones that exist, I’ve been dealt the card with the worst one. (I think more should be taught about this in school and beyond).

They did a genetic blood test and it came back that I had BRCA2. I’m a single mum with two daughters and that potentially impacts on my kids. They can have genetic counselling. There are different things they can do when my girls want to become parents. A lot more research is being done in this space, but it’s still a lot to get your head around. But regardless of my outcome, having the test has contributed towards the change that knowing this information could help my children and future grandchildren.

A lot of people get emotional about being told they’ve got breast cancer but because I had already had a hysterectomy, I took it in my stride. I felt at the healthiest point of life when diagnosed and perhaps that was a good thing – and perhaps that’s why I’ve dealt with it mentally so much better. I lost my womb and there’s nothing I can do to get that back to be a mum again and that gripes me more. For me, the trauma of that was far worse. With cancer, I’ve been given something to fight – but with a hysterectomy I lost my womb and had no choice and can’t get it back. I have a nursing background so I cope by learning about it and finding out about TNBC and the BRCA gene because it will help my situation to be a ‘mini expert’ on it!

Having that mammogram saved my life. I’d already had my womb removed, so with the triple negative diagnosis it meant I now had to have my ovaries removed. I was perimenopausal at the time and before my cancer diagnosis had been on HRT for about three months. The day I was diagnosed I was pulled off HRT and told to throw it in the bin. HRT had saved my life and I felt great, so when they said ‘throw it in the bin’ it was awful. I can’t have it because of the type of cancer I had and that was really sad. I’m hoping they can make one in the future that can help people like me.

I was in the full menopause before I started chemo, but having chemo made it so much worse and I had terrible insomnia and medication wasn’t helping. I had a meeting with the menopause clinic and therapy and was told I had trust issues with my body as things were always changing and so my natural instinct was to be on ‘high alert’ and so I didn’t trust myself to go to sleep. I’ve been asked for a referral to a sleep clinic and am also doing CBT to support my sleep. Poor sleep makes it harder to retain info so I have brain fog too.

Cancer made the menopause so much worse. I thought it wouldn’t be too bad losing my ovaries because I was already going into menopause. I’m learning to be kind to myself. 

I’m now living a life after cancer. In the beginning I was trying to chase normality but didn’t like that anyway, so instead I’m creating a new version of normal and seeing how that fits in the world. I’m constantly learning and re-learning. Getting older I feel different about death and mortality after cancer. 

I feel like the best I’ve felt physically for a while and have even taken up hiking and trying to climb mountains. My journey subsides and settles but I’m always in some form. I started therapy through my workplace this year and have also ambassador Black Women Rising and also Know your lemons.

I know it sounds weird, but the whole cancer experience has been an amazing ride and I have learnt so much. It’s a massive education and has opened so many doors. To come out of the NHS and still feel like I have a foot in door – joining focus groups, helping charities is giving me the same pleasure I got working on the night shift on a psych ward! I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve embraced it. I’m grateful now that I’m getting the support I need. To realise there’s an array of things I can utilise is shocking but humbling.

 I have a good support network and have made friends through Black Women Rising, Know Your Lemons,  Little Lifts, Oxford Cancer PPI group, We Get Touchy Feely, TNBC UK charity and West Midlands Cancer Alliance, Sitting in a room with people who have had direct experience – people who get it. Sometimes you don’t even have to say words. I find solace there.  I’ve started doing volunteering work; Approaching my MP about CRUK policy.

We need people advocating for better cancer treatments. Having a voice for future research for future generations - that’s what I’ve stayed alive for. I have issues with my body but I’m proud of her. She’s withstood chemo. She’s still fighting.